I have been asked to think about what my BP husband DOES have to offer.
There are certain things that he is consistent with and I can count on him for. Another thing about him is that he has good intentions. Borderline Personality Disorder affects him in the relationship. But it does not take away from his basic good heart. His insecurities are not his innate and intrinsic personality.
It’s hard for me to break it down this way because in the end, it’s a marriage to this ONE person who is relating to me in a manner that is extreme and self-centered. I know it’s coming from insecurity but I have feelings and am just a human being.
I am trying out a new way of looking at the marriage.
What can I do? I can not expect my BP husband to fulfill certain aspects of what a typical marriage relationship does. Even just getting heard and some attention is something I can not expect in this marriage. I can say to myself that this marriage is about what I have to offer to HIM and how I can help HIM. I can fulfill my need for emotional validation and feedback from a few trusted support people.
I am learning what is there and what isn’t there. This is a process.
Thanks for listening!