“I will no longer see other people as puzzles to be solved, yet as works of art to be appreciated.”
Quoted by Christopher Snell
I began blogging with this in mind: My Journey Towards Accepting Myself and My Borderline Personality Husband.
Starting with accepting myself would be the way to go. If there is a self, there is room for another. But if there is no self, there is nothing. Not I and not you.
I appreciate the above quote on the Earth Connections blog because I love art and beautiful objects and I would love to see people as the most beautiful works of art ever. When my husband and I built the house I moved into this year, the color flow and the architecture were very important to us. I marveled at the fact that we had the same exact taste. Making the selections were really not difficult. We were both drawn to the same things. I wondered about that – Does it mean we are on the same wavelength? Do our vibrations line up somehow? Do we appear on the same ray of light that emanates from the Divine? Are we the same color light? Who knows ?!
For the most part, I had always felt that we were on the opposite sides of the spectrum. I felt that he was a puzzle and that my life was one big enigma. I would lie awake in bed and say WHY? Why me? Why him? Why is this happening to me? I did not get it. And I could not accept it.
To truly appreciate a work of art, it is important to step back and take a good look. If you stand too close with your nose nearly touching the painting or sculpture or nature… you will only see what’s right in front of you and it won’t be too beautiful. I can guarantee that. If you step back and take in the whole piece at once, you get a scope and you have what to reference. This dot up here, works so well with the line down there. It just works.
If I can see myself objectively, treat myself as a WHOLE person – take a holistic viewing of myself – then I will have a vision of grandeur and beauty. God don’t make no junk. I have what to offer the world and life is not JUST ABOUT ME AND MY HUSBAND. Oh, he has BPD. Oh, he makes me crazy. Oh, this BPD is such a pain. Oh, I feel so bad for me/him. Oh, it’s hot. Oh, it’s cold. Oh, I’m too fat. Oh, it’s not enough. It will be just about the full picture. There’s a lot of GOOD in the full picture. It’s much more beautiful than what I see when I put it too close up to my face and get lost in the tiny unimportant details.
I need to step back to allow what seems puzzling to make itself known as a beautiful work of art.