Unlocking the Borderline’s Heart

I asked my inner wisdom to give me the secret to unlocking the love hidden within my husband. I believe that he has not felt love or acceptance all his years in this lifetime and that his inner child is totally hidden. I have no one to play with until he comes out of hiding. So selfishly, in order to get myself a live-in friend, lover, and playmate – I will attempt to unlock his heart.

Inner wisdom responded that the first key is this: Say Nice Things.

Simple instructions.

When I asked for details, my inner wisdom said: give him a sincere compliment once a day.

I was asked to do this for five days and report back.

I will update this post for the next five days and report back with any noticeable or unnoticeable results.

Wednesday – “you really have a lot of self-control.”

     — his response: It’s very hard.

Thursday – “…that is because you are very talented that way. you are also confident and decisive which really helps.”

     — his response: None.

Friday – I forgot to verbally compliment him before I left the house. I had thanked him for something but I don’t count thanking as complimenting. I called him with the intention to specifically compliment  him and he greeted me with a barrage of criticism, blame and anger. Then he asked me why I had called him. I told him “I had called to say something nice and am not sure if I will say it now. I was not expecting to be screamed at. I’m not feeling good now so maybe I will call back later.”

     — His response: I’m not either feeling good.

I called my husband back thirty minutes later and I told him that I’m calling to tell him what I wanted to tell him before. I figured that it’s best to be in the world of connection, rather than the world of disconnection and anger. I complimented him on being able to have open and honest conversations about sensitive topics with my teenage son. His response: Well, it’s better than screaming at him. 

Saturday – To my husband’s mother who was visiting: “You have such a good son. He was willing to walk you to Randi without him even realizing that she lived right near his own destination!”

     — His response: It was so close!

It’s Tuesday – I just remembered that I need to do my fifth GOOD WORD.

About my son who is now out of state: “You call him every day. Wow! That is very special.”

     — His response: I am trying to call him every day. That is my goal.

Inner wisdom has told me there definitely was a shift within my husband due to my sincere compliments. It is still unnoticeable on the outside. If I keep it up, the good words will find their way to the most sore and tender spots that need healing and building.

Advertisements

One thought on “Unlocking the Borderline’s Heart”

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s