Unlocking the Borderline’s Heart

I asked my inner wisdom to give me the secret to unlocking the love hidden within my husband. I believe that he has not felt love or acceptance all his years in this lifetime and that his inner child is totally hidden. I have no one to play with until he comes out of hiding. So selfishly, in order to get myself a live-in friend, lover, and playmate – I will attempt to unlock his heart.

Inner wisdom responded that the first key is this: Say Nice Things.

Simple instructions.

When I asked for details, my inner wisdom said: give him a sincere compliment once a day.

I was asked to do this for five days and report back.

I will update this post for the next five days and report back with any noticeable or unnoticeable results.

Wednesday – “you really have a lot of self-control.”

     — his response: It’s very hard.

Thursday – “…that is because you are very talented that way. you are also confident and decisive which really helps.”

     — his response: None.

Friday – I forgot to verbally compliment him before I left the house. I had thanked him for something but I don’t count thanking as complimenting. I called him with the intention to specifically compliment  him and he greeted me with a barrage of criticism, blame and anger. Then he asked me why I had called him. I told him “I had called to say something nice and am not sure if I will say it now. I was not expecting to be screamed at. I’m not feeling good now so maybe I will call back later.”

     — His response: I’m not either feeling good.

I called my husband back thirty minutes later and I told him that I’m calling to tell him what I wanted to tell him before. I figured that it’s best to be in the world of connection, rather than the world of disconnection and anger. I complimented him on being able to have open and honest conversations about sensitive topics with my teenage son. His response: Well, it’s better than screaming at him. 

Saturday – To my husband’s mother who was visiting: “You have such a good son. He was willing to walk you to Randi without him even realizing that she lived right near his own destination!”

     — His response: It was so close!

It’s Tuesday – I just remembered that I need to do my fifth GOOD WORD.

About my son who is now out of state: “You call him every day. Wow! That is very special.”

     — His response: I am trying to call him every day. That is my goal.

Inner wisdom has told me there definitely was a shift within my husband due to my sincere compliments. It is still unnoticeable on the outside. If I keep it up, the good words will find their way to the most sore and tender spots that need healing and building.


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