So, I was telling my counselor about my new daily dual practice of giving my Borderline husband one sincere compliment a day and of giving myself one intentional pleasurable experience per day.
She pointed out something very profound about these two practices. She said that the practice of praising and building my spouse is very important and helpful. When he feels good about himself, he can function better in all areas – as a husband, father and person among persons. A problem can arise if I am coming from a place of lack and feel drained. I won’t have the energy to give that sincere praise and point out his positives and I may create a negative cycle of focusing on the negative and feeling down.
When I nurture myself and find ways to fill myself daily with legitimate pleasures that I enjoy – it fills me with positive energy and builds me. I then can give to my husband from a place of abundance and overflow.
I am happy that I have been able to keep things open and flowing between us through this daily practice. One thing at a time. One day at a time.