Something interesting has been happening at home recently. We began a date-night ritual which, for us, consists of a 45 min. – 1 hr. outing. It is not a romantic date. It is just a time for us to go out and take care of a small errand that we don’t find stressful and we catch up with each other at the same time. There are no heavy-duty conversations. So far (we did this 4 times) my BP has not used this time to one-up me, blame me, complain or rant. This, my friends, is a MIRACLE!
After the first week that he offered to go out with me, I thanked him for it. I told him how much I enjoyed the small outing. I mentioned how much I enjoyed it one more time during the week and asked him if he’d have time for me the following week, as well. He said “Let’s make it into a ritual!” I was happy to hear that he enjoyed it as well.
This past week we were not able to go out together on the usual night so we made a rain-date. On the night of our rain-date, we realized that my youngest son would be home alone and very bored. We both felt that it would be the right thing to invite him along with us. My son was glad to come along and get out. We ended up going for pizza and relaxing.
This is also a breakthrough for my BP hubby. He usually tries to get possessive with me. This means that if he has me for himself he gets extremely upset if a child encroaches on his time or space. This has caused him to act in a very insensitive manner towards the children in the past. I believe that there is a time and place for everything and balance and sensitivity are of supreme importance. It was truly a sign of progress that he realized that sometimes it is correct to break from routine EVEN at a time that I was technically “his”.
I hope to keep reporting progress here!