May What Was Done to Me, Not be Done to You ~ Poem

brushed with fear
blue with cold
he filled her tears with eyes
oh, may the night please last forever
and may the sun not rise
parented by aliens
wicked pharaohs’ men
black from grime and soot and blood
black and blue
again
fortune shines in cloaks of old
in knights of steel and gold
she waves her arms
in telling tales
she gets her story told

Fears in Business and Life

I was reading an article by Gordon Tredgold related to fears in business and life. The amazing article (which can be found here) ended with a question. I decided to answer the question quickly, without thinking at all about it. I just jotted down the list. First I got a list of the bolded words below. Then I went back and added one sentence to each item. This is what I got. I think I need to speak with my therapist 😉 !!

The question is: Which fears impact you and your business the most?

The fear of being real

       who am i to know what to do 

of being discovered 

       who am i to have a say

of knowledge 

       who am i to deserve to know 

of giving 

        will i see a return on my investment 

of answering to a higher authority 

         what will happen if I don’t succeed 

of creating something from nothing 

           is there really something here that nobody else yet discovered?

of loving something i cannot have

          how can i want it, if i want it so much 

of working for nothing 

          will this make any difference to anybody?

of selling myself short 

          my life’s a waste, no one appreciates me, it’s not worth it. 

of being an imposter 

           they think i know what i’m talking about 

of returning to dust

          why bother. 

Frozen In Time 

Our time together has been stale

Musty with smells of yesterday 

I agree that it’s been less than optimal for both of us,

Our time together,

Which can also be called 

Our time apart. 

For until we are done cleaning house 

We will be experiencing the pains of growth 

And the burden of our past lives 

weighing down on us, 

pushing us towards our destiny 

of togetherness. 

I can’t even imagine what togetherness would look like. 

Frozen in time now. 

Note to Self ~ Morning Pages

Dear Sarah,

Good Morning! I am so happy to have this opportunity to communicate with you. Today I wanted to talk about the morning pages. I know that you feel that it’s not going to figure into your recovery the way that therapy does or a 12 Step Program does. You may not ever use these morning pages to write a book or to get your artist out. However, you will use them to become the best you possible. To spill the brain onto the page and to let it go is so important! I know that you are just at the beginning of your journey into a great big unknown where you will need as much courage as you can get. If you take 15 minutes to get your morning pages done, I am sure that you will see a big difference in your day. Your happiness level will change. These pages are yours alone and are the product of your mind and soul. Nothing will be produced in its equivalence.

Do it! I support you!

Love,

Your greatest fan ~ Inner Nurturer

Note to Self ~ Taking Note of Me

Dear Sarah,

I see you. I just wanted to say. I see you.

Sometimes it seems like I am so busy and disinterested, as if I am this all important executive who does not have time to notice you. Maybe I am very important. But the first person I am important to is YOU. I exist because of you, for your sake and within you. There is no separate reality that I contain or maintain. We are one.

Therefore, even though I often forget to look at you and I often forget to see  your sweet features and daily activities – I want you to know that I am committed to noticing you more. You are my purpose here and you are my celebrity and my fantasy. I only have eyes for you.

When you wake up, I’m excited. When you get dressed in the morning, I’m delighted. When you put one foot in front of the other and step into the lion’s den every day to see how hungry he is (is that a terrible analogy?!?! One day I’ll stop this negativity!!) I am right there with you, rooting for you and painting a picture of wholeness and beauty. I want your day to go swell. I want your life to be peaceful. I am there with you all day long and each time I stop to see you and notice you, I will set the intention to make it a peaceful day.

I love you and I am with you always.

Love, Inner Sarah

Fear or Fair 

Dear Hubby,

I don’t want to be afraid of you. 

I don’t want you to be afraid of me. 

Let’s erase fear. Let’s embrace fair. 

I am willing to work towards this goal. I cannot live in fear anymore. 

Our frantic scrambles to patch up your problems cause me too much trouble to be worth the temporary high I get out of saving the day. 

I choose tranquility and serenity. I hope you adjust ok to my new space.  If not, it doesn’t matter. I am going to get there anyway, despite or because of your frenzy. 

I am too precious to be forgotten. My essence is love and joy. Not anger and bitterness. Whatever it takes, I’m going for inner peace. 

S

Who is Driving ~ A Poem 

for the life of me
I can’t figure out if the person
who’s driving me
is a literal
or figurative
woman
 
Is she encased in ice?
a mummy?
Or is she alive,
heart beating and loving?
 
I know that
both
a dead 
and live woman
reside inside
 
When I am still 
I can sense
which one is driving

A ride with a cadaver
can be a heady experience
though I’d prefer a ride
with a living me

I’m going to love them both –
these two who
grace my bones
and allow me to 
interpret their secrets
and tell their stories