Is My Suffering Senseless?

I know that I must live and let live. I know that I must let go and let God.  I know that I can use my own experiences while trying to navigate my life, as a way of seeing the world and gaining a deeper appreciation for the happenings therein. That is all I have to go by  –  my own experience. My own experience would include asking for help and learning from others, who learn from their own experiences on this Earth. And so we are in a continuous loop of living and learning.

I believe in reincarnation. I believe that I was once (plus more times) living in another body and after my time was up, I was given a chance to come back again, mostly to rectify poor choices I had made in the previous lifetime. Free choice is what allows me to be Godly human being. Destiny would account for all the factors in my life over which I have no control – the settings that made up the background of my life (family of origin, birthplace, things that “happened” to me). These situations have brought me to the place where I am now in almost the same exact position that I was in a past life, when I did not make a good LIFE choice. How will I react now? With integrity or selfishly? Will I disclose my secret or will I play the game until the end? Will I be loving or standoffish?

I believe that all the pain and suffering that comes along with the destiny part – the abusive family of origin, the impossible teacher, the accident, the physical handicaps .. even though it was part of the background setting to bring me to a place of choice, each item that was in my story is significant and not a mistake. It is fair. Even if it is not deserved as a punishment for something, it is not a mistake or haphazard event that by luck I was struck with. I believe that my soul needed it for some reason and if I don’t know why, I will one day find out. There could be many accounts that I have to close with this one life here.

If not for the past life regression therapy that I have done recently, I would not be able to say this with conviction. But since I experienced this in therapy and I see how my present life correlates with events in past lives, I can say this with a knowing. I have seen some mistakes I have made in past lives, such as a murder I committed, families I ruined, a spouse I rejected and a spouse I took with force. This time around I have been given the chance to “take that back” and to show I have learned my lesson (with those same souls, no less.)

It’s not easy. But it’s the only way out.

Out of what? Out of feeling that suffering is senseless.


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